So you got married, moved in, and the picket fence turned to barbed wire and you’re ready to get out. Sound familiar? Many people find themselves here. The problem most people ask is “what do I do?” We’re talking about more than just get in your car and leave; this is the actual what to consider when you have made the decision to leave.
First things first, document, document, document. Take photos, and better yet, a video. Document everything you take with you, and everything you leave behind. The more detail the better. To have a record to later reference to create an inventory of belongings, or argue the condition of certain belongings can be invaluable in contested cases. Take photos of the boxes you pack (their contents – not a plain brown box), videos of the condition of the home when you leave. If there’s damage to the home like a wall or specific items, document it. No one is saying your stuff needs to be in perfect and pristine condition. But you know when you leave if there was a fist size hole in that spare bedroom door or not. A photo helps support you later on.
In your video, be mindful this very well may be used later in court. This is not the time to come up with new names for your soon to be ex-spouse if you catch my drift. If you can have a friend or neighbor walk through the house the day you plan to leave, that only adds one more layer of protection to confirm the state of things when you left.
In a perfect situation, you have a conversation with your soon to be ex about the fact you are leaving. You all share expenses and responsibilities, so a heads up is preferred so arrangements can be made about the finances. If this is not feasible due to domestic violence concerns, or other reasons, keep in mind that marital debts, like a mortgage, are still a joint responsibility. You will need to consult an attorney about how to move forward with those items to ensure you are not accused of abandonment, or diminishing the value of an asset.
Lastly, if you have not already, call a competent attorney. There are so many twists and turns cases like separation of spouses can take. Having someone with knowledge to walk you down the path can be an invaluable asset. The sooner they are on-board, the sooner they can help you avoid some well-known pitfalls. This includes if you just want to know the process should you decide to leave. Knowledge is power.